Skip to content
Menu
Planet Stahl
  • Cart
  • Checkout
  • My account
  • Scholorship Fund
  • Shop
  • Candidate Stahl
    • Campaign Donations
Planet Stahl

Blog Disclaimer

Posted on July 15, 2023July 16, 2023

I have told this story a few times since the visitation…  And anymore I preface any conversation with “I’m sorry if I have said this before”.  I honestly can’t keep track of what I have said to who and when!  That’s not completely true, I remember smiles, hugs, and condolences… I just don’t remember who has heard what.  Angela catches me talking to myself sometimes because I overthink past conversations in my head all the time… And they sometimes spill out of my mouth while deep in thought.  It’s weird, and something I never used to do.

The Blog.  Full Disclaimer.

Having a blog is a certain level of narcissism that I never really thought about.  Weird since I have been posting on planetstahl for 20 years.  This last year with Summer’s cancer battle has had me thinking about what and why I share and post.  I guess, it’s fair to say I’m a narcissist.  I certainly have always felt like what’s going on in my life was worth sharing with everyone.  A narcissist talking about narcissism?  Is it possible to be impartial in this conversation with myself?

In the beginning, I did not write about our journey through Summer’s cancer as a way to share it with the “world”.  Obviously, a blog is written with a certain level of self-exploitation because you ultimately do it in the open.   But in general, Planetstahl has been a tool for sharing what’s going on with the farm or the kids… And the receiving audience has been my immediate family and friends.  In the beginning, it was all about sharing Illinois news for my family back in Florida.

Fast forward to the events of the past year.

When my Grandpa Stahl was sick and passed away from his stroke…  I recall the family texts and phone calls telling us everything that was going on with his treatment and condition.  (Tim is the king of this!) I never thought much about it until Summer got sick and I started taking and making phone calls to family members.  This really kicked into gear when Summer was accepted at CARLE in Champaign.  After I had given updates via a phone call, my Mom or Dad would ask, “do you want to call your brothers and sister?”  I was more than willing to let them share the news because I did not have the mental fortitude to make that call three times over.

I was not going to be like my Dad sitting on the phone or sending those monster texts from the hallway of a hospital to the whole family about the current conditions.  Planetstahl was the perfect way to share with everyone what was going on with Summer and her treatment.  It was a clean and sanitary way to share the info without getting my hands dirty talking to people face to face.

But it also drew a lot of people in that I did not expect.

After Summer has been through her surgery at CARLE, I came back to work for a few days and had a rotation of co-workers, customers, and friends coming through my office door to offer their support.  At one point, a customer, Rich, and I were sitting and talking about Summer and her cancer and he started crying.  I was totally taken aback that this stranger of my daughter would absorb my pain and take it in.  We were both sitting there looking at each other through watery eyes when I told him “I am so sorry that I projected this pain onto you”.  Maybe it’s some masculine way to deal with drama, but internalizing and working through the personal battles by yourself seems like the way you are supposed to “do it”.  Two grown men crying about Summer being sick 90 miles away would solve nothing.

After a few weeks… It became obvious that Summer cared very much about what I was writing.  And it also pulled me back from throwing down hard truths and some brutal realities that the rest of us around her were dealing with.   We were in this to win this.  There were very few moments in the blog that I would ever call pessimistic.  Knowing that Summer was reading until the last few weeks kept me writing toward a clean diagnosis and healing.

So, I know that if I were to look back at some days during the last year in this “story”… It would have some formidable holes in the reality of the situation.  We knew how bad it was.  We did not share that.  Full transparency with the diagnosis was reserved for those moments when we were sitting with doctors in rooms with test results.

When we were in Hospice and I had the opportunity to make some posts…  (Something I had not done much of since our 2-week jaunt across the US on vacation) The blog numbers were off the charts.  I knew a lot of people were waiting for updates while we were gone.  But I promised myself that the blog was not a concern while we were spending time on the epic roadtrip.  If I had time to write, great, if not, so be it.

After Summer passed and we were at the visitation.  I heard about the blog a lot.  Anglea was probably totally sick of hearing the word blog.  Angela was quick to point out the that there were 3 or 4 people in the room on most days at St. Jude.  The stories of the days probably would have had a different emphasis and key moments if told by her, Summer or Nate. A lot of people were following along.  I knew that.  But I still felt bad that our family’s pain was being absorbed by so many.  Just like that conversation with Rich in my office, was it fair for me to unload our pain on strangers to Summer?

I do not have that answer to what is right or wrong.

I do not know that Summer’s story will resonate with anyone outside our family for more than a few months or years after her passing.  (The scholarship fund is our best hope to keep her name in front of our neighbors for the next decade or more)

I do know that the blog has served as a document that will keep a bit of our family legacy alive as long as it’s kept alive online.

Some folks said to publish the words.  I may print them off so that I have this document on paper in the off chance the site gets lost or deleted.  I find our photo books serve as a great reminder that printed images and words stand the test of time better than a website or social media.

As for full-blown publishing as suggested by more than a few folks… Well, this blog is a mess.  I would need to decide if all the posts need to be edited with the full background of what was really happening every day we were with Summer in treatment.  Also…  There were weeks when I was not with her…  Would I need to go back and defer to Angela’s diaries from those days?  I really don’t think I have enough here to work with and I am not sure that our journey through Summers cancer and St. Jude will inspire anyone.

Again, inflicting pain on others was not the goal.


Writing has been tough lately.  I worked all last week and every night seems to have plenty going on.  Even a lazy weekend day does not leave anytime for making a blog post.  I will keep wrapping up the funerals and visitation.

Angela, Mom, Linda and Aiden spent 2 full days with Thank You cards…  You will likely gert one of those before I make my thank you post!

Related

11 thoughts on “Blog Disclaimer”

  1. Linda L Robinson says:
    July 16, 2023 at 12:35 am

    Sharing is surviving, remembering, and finally healing.

  2. Amy Steidinger says:
    July 16, 2023 at 1:26 am

    You are not a narcissist. You are a gifted writer who is willing to be vulnerable – that’s why this has resonated with people. Sharing Summer has absolutely been inspiring to us because love is inspiring. Life doesn’t always give us the outcome we want but the love and dedication we witnessed here is what we all hope we are capable of in challenging times. We love you all – you’ve become our extended family.

    1. Pam P says:
      July 16, 2023 at 7:44 am

      Beautifully said

  3. Elaine Dietrich says:
    July 16, 2023 at 6:44 am

    Far from a narcissist! Your blog has kept everyone informed snd everyone truly cares about all that you have written! Your parents are my friends and since the blog, you all are my friends & I feel like I knew Summer & the wonderful person she was. I am grateful for all that you have written & feel the pain you all are going through!❤️

  4. Robert Finley says:
    July 16, 2023 at 7:02 am

    A journey to not be walked alone.
    Your family is loved by many.
    We’ve chosen to walk this path with you to bring extra measures of love and kindness when the path seems impassable.

  5. Dianne M Beach says:
    July 16, 2023 at 8:13 am

    As a “stranger” only really knowing your parents I became invested in your writing. It was the first thing I read each day. All of us fell in love with your family and were on the path with you. We were are in this with you. We prayed for a different outcome. We prayed during all the tests and scans and all the times different family members came to St Jude to be with Summer. We loved all of you. Your “blog” helped bring us closer in many respects. I thought it was amazing that you were willing to share such a difficult time of your lives with us. Narcissist no. I just want to thank you Eric .

  6. Stephanie Avina says:
    July 16, 2023 at 12:20 pm

    Narcissism has nothing to do with it. Writing is very cathartic in processing emotions. You have an affinity for it.
    Summer’s story is sad and did not have the outcome we had all hoped. Even though the cancer took her, her story is so inspiring. It is a story of love and family united facing adversity and loss head on. What could be more inspiring??
    I will continue to send thoughts (prayers) of peace and comfort to you and your entire family, as you navigate a different and challenging path of life without your beautiful Summer.☀️

  7. Kelli Reynolds says:
    July 16, 2023 at 1:17 pm

    Your blogging is a way for you to sort through feelings in your head and to also document what is likely the most significant period of your life and of Summers. I wish I had kept a diary of Davys journey. I made notes on my calendar of things but much is left in pictures that I need to refer to date taken to remember what was going on and when. Summer’s story as told by you I have no doubt helps others either going through it, have gone through it or just people who care to know how she’s doing and how you and Angela are doing. By reading it, then you aren’t bombarded with 1000 people asking you how is she, what’s going on, etc. We read along as you all lived it saving you from reliving your days over and over having to answer everyone’s questions. Not narcissistic at all. Keeping you guys in my prayers.

  8. Brian Nieukirk says:
    July 18, 2023 at 11:26 pm

    Eric, your writings and blogging is a blessing to both the reader and the writer. It’s obviously therapeutic for you. I have thoroughly enjoyed all of your updates and posts. I have prayed and continue to pray for you and your family regularly. I disagree with your statement about narcissism however. Thank You for updating all of us through the blog and Facebook posts.

  9. Ronda Dively says:
    July 19, 2023 at 11:48 am

    I became interested in Summer’s story as an SIU professor (retired) who came across your GoFundMe post on FB. I’ve read every entry of your blog. I am pained by all you are going through but, also, impressed by the courage, love and dignity with which you’ve faced this tragedy. Your family’s decision to share the experience opened doors to better understanding a situation (an aggressive cancer diagnosis) that, sadly, many will go through either personally or with a loved one (albeit, not usually someone so young). That understanding will help countless people in countless ways. As an author myself, I have been thinking all along that you should publish your work, perhaps in memoir form–not only as a beautiful tribute to an amazing young woman, but also as a guide to navigating a devastating loss. Thank you for writing–I’ve been enriched by your work.

  10. Pam Pavlik says:
    July 24, 2023 at 10:28 pm

    I really appreciate what everyone has so beautifully said, feelings so many of us likely feel, but unable to find the words.

Comments are closed.

Archives

Eric Stahl

Twitter

Tweets by Planetstahl

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • February 2017
  • December 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • December 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • June 2015
  • January 2015
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • February 2013
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • November 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • January 2006
  • November 2005
  • October 2005
  • September 2005
  • August 2005
  • July 2005
  • June 2005
  • May 2005
  • September 2001
  • May 2001
  • April 2001
  • March 2001
  • February 2001
  • January 2001
  • December 2000
  • November 2000
  • October 2000
  • September 2000
  • August 2000
  • February 2000
  • November 1999
  • Cancer
  • Candidate Stahl
  • Digital Divide
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Grief
  • Health
  • History
  • Home Improvement
  • Libertarian
  • Local News
  • Music
  • Pets
  • Scholarship Fund
  • Social Commentary
  • St. Jude
  • Throwin' Wrenches
  • Trail Team
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Video
  • Work
Eric Stahl

©2025 Planet Stahl | WordPress Theme by Superb WordPress Themes