I had written a list of things that have had Summer’s name on them since her passing… Tributes etc. I was reminded last weekend that the St Jude runners from Mackinaw still think about her.
Janet Murphy, our local organizer reached out to me and asked if I would be ok with the Mackinaw team dedicating a section of their run along Rt9 from Schmidgal Road to Tremont in her honor. Of course, I was saying yes. I got to the run kickoff at 7AM and watched the runners get lined up. I was asked to help see them out of town and lined up the Fort’s Supra behind the police and fire vehicles.
I honestly felt a little weird. I don’t know that many people in the town of Mackinaw. While the kids made a ton of friends in the town that they attended HS in … Me, working in Pekin, and Angela going to Lincoln every day meant most of our contact with Mackinaw residents tends to be teachers and administrators.
Janet asked me early on if I was willing to speak to the runners. UGH! I was dreading this, but I am getting better with the thought. After we had left with the runners and I had not spoken to the group… I was sure I was off the hook. I broke away from the parade of vehicles leading the runners when we got into Mackinaw and then headed towards Schmidgall in the Supra. I was joined by Dawn and my friend Mark a few minutes later. We stood around for an hour while we waited for the runners to get to our checkpoint.
At Schmidgall, the bus pulls over and it turns into a little rest stop for the runners. Its about 10 minutes ahead of the group so we prepped by getting some water for the runners as they are finishing up the previous stretch. We stood around and made conversation with a few people and the bus driver. Dawn had told me that she ran into a girl in Mackinaw who had a “Summer Strong” shirt on and I had no idea who it was.
The crew ran in and started doing their swapping over to the bus etc.
The group only spent a few minutes at this stop, but it felt like an hour. Janet revisited her request for a speech. By now, I had lowered my pulse to an acceptable level and took a breath. I had posted on Facebook the day before that St. Jude was important to Summers cancer treatment and the well-being of our whole family. I told the group that it was better that we talked here, away from the start… in private. There were kids at the start of the race who were going through treatment at this very moment… And the thought of me talking about Summer’s sad ending gave me pause that maybe I should not be “real” with our message of “thanks”.
I stepped up and proceeded to tell them that our family had been rattled to the core when Summer was diagnosed. We had no idea what to do. The moment Summer was accepted by St. Jude in Memphis for treatment was the moment we had direction… And hope. Hope was in short supply. If anyone was going to solve this… St Jude could. This went on for 12 months. I told them… We had hope for nearly a year. Even tough Summer lived 12 months and 24 days after her diagnosis… We had hope until a month before she passed. Crazy really when you try to think about it.
As I was plumbing the depths of darkness… I realized I needed to raise this up a bit. I quickly pointed to the Supra and told them that I didn’t bring this car here to show it off… I bring it as a tribute to Summer as she did drive the Supra at least once when we did AutoX with the Champaign County Sports Car Club. (She also drove her Celica and the Forts FRS at Central Illinois SCCA events as well) Janet jumped all over this. She is experienced with SCCA and we talked about the skill and talent that it requires. It led to a few seconds of me reiterating what an ass-kicker Summer was for her age. She had her first race in her Celica when she was 15. I then pointed out many of the other things she did… Horsemanship, Civil Air Patrol for example.
The group was very gracious to listen to me.
I did get a chance to talk to the young lady in the Strong Like Summer shirt. She made the shirt for this run and told me that she was a freshman when Summer was a senior. They were both in FBLA. (Future Business Leaders of America). She was young and inexperienced and she remembers that Summer was kind to her and helped her when they went to competitions. I love hearing stories about my daughter that I do not know. How amazing that she touched another random stranger and was compelled to do something in her honor.
It reminded me of my blog post from a month back. I was making a list of tributes in Summers honor.
I was reminded of this section of the Mackinaw run in her name. I was also reminded that Olars had a mass dedicated to Summer on July 14th at Sacred Heart Church. The list grows.
St Jude offers a “conference” (for lack of a better word) called the “Weekend of Remembrance”. We will be headed back to Memphis (for the first time since her last treatment before hospice) for a weekend of talks and bonding with other families who also have lost their kids. We were not offered the event last year, thankfully, since it was a very fresh wound, but this year Angela, my Mom, and others want to go. I have no idea what to expect. 
We had to agree on a picture of Summer to play on their video system… I have at least 1 million photos…. So, this was a hard task. Well, the hardest part was that Angela and I agreed on the picture. We wanted recent… But we wanted “Summer”. We found a selfie she took in the mountains on one of her last trips with me (I believe) where she holds some wildflowers.
We have better pictures… Some staged. Some with better hair… But this one captures her pretty well.
So, we agree. And you run with those little victories.
Speaking of Colorado. I will be heading out for a camp trip with the #3dads3daughters34runners group for the first time since Summer got sick.
It’s funny that when the subject of camping in Colorado came up… Aiden said he might be interested in doing it again next year. (Has a job now). I almost had Nate as well, but he was going on vacation the week after.
I have been pretty good on long drives. Silence and the time in the car that gives me lots of pause for reflection can be a bit scary. I remember driving home from work a few weeks ago and I was thinking about something… I think it was hospice. It could have been the ultimate road trip. Who knows. But I was deep in thought. By the time I got to my exit off of 155, I realized I was hunched over my right arm and my elbow was digging into the center console. I was physically wretching myself in daydreams.
I can see when it’s happening. I am aware. I will be fine.
I started packing the truck tonight, even though it’s a week away. I have my cooling gear and all my ground tent gear ready to go. The last time I ran out west… I forgot my tent!!!! That will not happen again!!!
I have a concert story to tell from my last adventure with Aiden in Chicago… But I think it deserves a full post. Not to mention its 11:15 on a school night… I need to write it down.
I’ll try better!!!
Another inspiring read, Eric. And how kind of the Olars to have a mass dedicated to Summer on July 14th. They are exceptional people.