At 5:50 PM tonight, our battle-worn champion set down her sword and lost her battle to Medulloblastoma.
I don’t have a lot to say about it right now. I mean, I do… But I am not in the mood to write the details.
We had a few visitors today… I was happy to see Sam in the room when I arrived this morning. Sam and Summer have been friends since they met in cross country her Freshman year. Well, maybe… Seems like he was shy and she was overtly trying to make friends with him and Jacob. There were some fun stories about them running away when she was trying to make conversation.
I think Maddie might have been her last visitor before we realized that she was struggling with breathing and heart rate.
We called Dr. Deter and she had the nurses checking on Summer constantly. I could see her arm hairs standing up again (I called them hootypuckers and Aiden thought I made the word up). Her arms were cold, but her back was drenched with sweat. While she was not complaining of any pain, she was not responding to much stimuli.
Earlier I was sure she gave me a crooked sneer when I was talking to her about my birthday present… Or lack of it. But its not for certain. It was certain that she lifted her arm up and waved it when my brother Dan, Aiden and I were talking about the Eels concert. We took that as a sign that she approved. That was about it for the recognition of people in the room.
Once Summer’s breaths got labored, Dr Deter came back around and told us to pull down the blinds and change the tone of the room. Now was the time to dial down the casual conversation and talk to Summer in a soothing manner.
1 hour later she passed away while Aiden, Angela, and I were circled around her bed holding onto her.
We were fortunate that Grandparents and other family were in the waiting area to be there as strong shoulders to cry on.
The nurses said to take all the time we needed with Summer. I think we sat with her for 2 hours.
Nate was rushing back from Decatur because he had been trying to get back to Carbondale for his car. We stayed with Summer until Nate could say goodbye.
In the meantime, the nurses said they would call our choice of funeral home. I said I would save them the trouble because I had “my guy’s” number in my phone. I called Greg from Henderson and he picked up on the second ring. It sounded like a party was going on in the background. I apologized for ruining his night. He said he was at a baseball game and could leave anytime. I told him he had some time since we were waiting.
I have known Greg for years from working at Fort’s. So he’s not a stranger to me. He was as nice and informative as a complete stranger can be to the rest of my family. I have a new appreciation for anyone who can walk into situations like this. We are scheduled to meet with him on Saturday.
Greg mentioned writing the obituary. He said they submit that and talk to Father about service arrangements.
I have so many thanks to give to so many people. Can I remember to make that post later? I’ll try.
Internet! I have Noize or somebody coming out of a site survey next week. As Nate and I compare photos I realized I cannot share pictures “en masse” over our cellular connections. I think we make need to drive to Gabe’s house or something this week to do some uploading.
Summer made sure that June 23rd will be a day I now “take off” every year.
I used to make fun of co-workers who took their birthday off as something that millennials would do. I will now join the ranks of the juveniles by marking June 23rd off for every year I am employed.
Day drinking. Shouting at the moon. Shaking my fist at the universe in a Summer way will all be on the agenda. (Did you ever see her put her fist up and make a threat? It was a funny and self-deprecating)
Tonight… Nate and I slipped into her room and lifted her diaries. Yeah… We did that. We are looking for drawings or quotes that might make a great tattoo.
Somebody, anonymously, left an amazing backlit box with the design of the “sweet dreams of Summer” at the hospice house today. It is amazing. It’s going to be a permanent fixture in our house.
Summer, you are now in the arms of Jesus. We do not know why God called you home, too soon for us left behind. I have been reading the book by Dr. Dobson, “When God Doesn’t Make Sense” and it says at times, God just doesn’t make sense; the “Why” question is often left unanswered for years or perhaps for a lifetime. Even if Grandma won’t see you tomorrow, I know I will see you again. Love you, Grandma Linda.
My sincere condolences to the entire family. Even though my heart is breaking and tears are falling , I have peace and comfort knowing Summer is with Jesus in Paradise. Summer will always be in my heart.
There are absolutely no words I can say that will ease your pain of sweet Summer being called home to Jesus. I am truly sorry. Please know, Summer is no longer in pain and is sitting with our Lord watching over you all. I know it doesn’t make it any easier. I will be praying for you.
I’m so sorry. Words fail me at times like these. We love you and we’re so thankful that she had all of you, through it all. She lived a big life in her short time here and we’ll all continue to celebrate it. Thank you for sharing her with us.
Our thoughts are with you and the family. Maybe Summer will run into our Cindy in heaven who passed away September 26, 1972, they are first cousins. Loss is hard to accept but keep the faith and live one day at a time. Uncle Ray and Aunt Shirley
Our thoughts are with you and the family. Maybe Summer will run into our Cindy in heaven who passed away September 26, 1972, they are first cousins. Loss is hard to accept but keep the faith and live one day at a time. Uncle Ray and Aunt Shirley
Summer touched so many people, including some she never met face to face. I shared your messages with my family daily. While we are glad she won’t suffer any longer, our hearts hurt for you during this immense loss. Love and prayers continue to pour from us to you and your family.
Our hearts are breaking for all of you, and rejoicing for Summer’s peace and comfort. She was an absolutely amazing girl and her entire family is just as amazing. God be with you all.
Summer was called home by God from us way too soon. Though we may never know the reasons why. She is no longer in pain but has left aching in our hearts. Our thoughts and prayers are still with you all for peace and comfort always.
I didn’t know Summer personally I knew her through her Gramps, Tim. I feel that I am a better person from just hearing and reading about her. I hope to have the strength and zest for life that she demonstrated so beautifully . Thank you for sharing this incredible person with all of us. It would have been a tragedy not to share Summer. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and friends at the time. May you find peace in the knowledge that she is free from the restraints of the cruelty of cancer.
We are so sorry for your loss. Words don’t seem adequate. Summer fought long and hard. I admired her courage. She is now free, but we will miss her so much. May God bring you peace and comfort you during this difficult time.
You have never met me but I know Tim from the LNT world long, long ago. He is an amazing person – definitely impacted my life.
I have followed Summer’s journey through your beautifully written word. Your family inspires me to be a better person each day. The love is contagious.
I am so sorry you loss Summer to a horrible illness but I am so grateful you and your family had such a beautiful young lady in your lives and she will continue through her huge, impactful memory. The trip – what can I say. What an amazing experience for everyone. You truly made her world a happy one.
Thank you for being so generous as to share her journey with so many. She made a difference in my life. She is going to kick butt in heaven. My heart is with you and your family .
Carol Nichols
Tears and no words……and my words can’t take away your grief and heartache. Just know, I pray for a sense of peace and comfort for you and your family. I hate that Medullo took her…..too soon. You are great parents, even thru all the eye rolls!! She is off to new adventures abound. Fly high Summer! ❤
I only know summer from a handful of autocross events and trail team parties as “Eric’s Daughter” but the impact this story has on us was emotional, even as near strangers. Larissa (Wife) and I read every one of these entries as they are published and often are brought to tears on how unfair and outright cruel life can be. On the other hand, it is very heartwarming to read about the immense support that summer has and how incredibly positive she and all her company has been from the start! Our hearts are heavy this morning as we read this entry with tears in our eyes, and I can promise that even though my wife never had the pleasure of meeting summer that we will remember this story forever. We are thinking of you as you celebrate Summer’s remarkable life.
-The Watson’s
God bless you, Summer. We are all going to the same place. You did not leave your family, you just led the way.
So so sorry to hear Eric. My prayers for you and the entire family. I pray God gives you peace and strength during all of this. God Bless you and Summer.
Our society as a whole has failed to teach us how to talk to persons in the grieving process (I know this first hand) yet now even I struggle with finding words. I will simply say that I am sending hugs to you all and will be willing to offer hugs, share tears,tell stories or simply sit and “just be “ anytime you want or need to!
May God give you peace during this difficult time. It is ok to ask the why questions. My Mom passed when she was 45, and I was 25. We were pregnant with our first baby. I was so angry. Why would He take my best friend? I needed her. Through time, I have healed. I don’t know why to this day, but I know that she is no longer suffering with awful cancer, and I know we will be reunited again some day. God’s love for us is unmatched and hard to wrap our minds around during times of suffering, but know His love for you is great and He has not forgotten you. Our prayer is that you will find comfort knowing that you will be reunited again. We will be praying for you in the days, weeks, and months to come.
My deepest sympathy to Summer’s entire family and friends. There are no words anyone can say at this time to comfort you but know so many people care and love you all.
I came across this blog as an old alumni of St. Joe’s. Man, reading this story and following along broke my heart. While I don’t know Summer or her family, the one thing it did was reminded me once again how short life is. To love endlessly, to live happily, and to cherish every moment. As a Dad of four, I cannot imagine the strength it takes to endure something like this. I wish nothing but good thoughts to you all, and never forget the good times and wonderful memories you all made.
I am beyond sorry for your loss. I could say so much more but I know nothing makes this easier to accept. Just know that my family and I have been reading the updates and thinking of you and your family regularly.
You all fought a very tough battle. Some win, some don’t. It isn’t the natural order of things for parents to lose their children. But remember, God only takes THE BEST. Small confort for you all today. I feel sad for Nate as well since he lost his friend and his love. Your family exemplifies the word LOVE. Look for that extra star in the night sky.
Billie
I’m so sorry for your loss! Words are inadequate to comfort.. I will pray for you all.
I’m so sorry . Prayers for comfort and peace during this time.
Our most sincere condolences to the Stahl family from Arkansas. Your story has continued to be an inspiration to so many during this absolutely most difficult challenge of your entire lives. Rest in Eternal Peace Summer. Until we meet again in the promise of eternal life granted through our belief in Jesus.
I could swear the day Summer went home to Jesus, you wrote you told your mom that Summer got ripped off. Can’t find that now, but Summer didn’t get ripped off, Summer went to Heaven! For all we know, she’s already accomplished 20 things on her bucket list, and has infinity to accomplish whatever she wants! You, Angela, Aiden and Nate got ripped off. Her great-grandmother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and all her family that loved her got ripped off. As did her friends, anyone who knew her, and those who never had the pleasure of meeting her. I’m so, so sorry, I pray daily that God gives you strength, courage and comfort. Some people believe their loved ones have contacted them in some way, I pray each of you will be blessed with that. Some of you have already been blessed with a look, gesture or words that you could never have imagined. I know you’ll cherish that forever. XO
I only knew Angela and Summer though our competitive mounted orienteering group and I remember the feeling when their truck pulled into a campground to ride with us. I am always so glad to see Moms riding with their kids.
There is nothing that I can say to ease the pain of losing Summer, but I can only hope there are horses in heaven, waiting for her.