We were in Italy last year when I heard something unbelievable…
I was told that our American “family” is more Italian than our Italian family.
This (Madhatter)… Everyone and everything about THIS time is special.
And, somehow, to us, THIS is normal.
People looking from the outside say we make “family” look easy and fun.
Its not easy. We make this happen.
THIS matters. Family matters. Tradition Matters.
We only have a few days. Laugh. Share. Smile. (Its OK if Tim cries)
Celebrate today.
The next crop of ‘Hatters is watching.
Cheers!
We just returned home from Madhatter 2024. If you don’t know what Madhatter is… Well, this is not the post to explain it. Suffice it to say that when other families have a reunion… They call it a reunion. My family, we have the family equivalent of a miniature burning man. Days on end of food, cocktails, and a spirited competition based on skills and creativity (that will be scrutinized and judged!). We call it “Madhatter”. The end result is a bond that ties this family together for decades and decades.
There was an urgency to this year’s event, as you might expect. Over the past few years, some powerhouses have left our family. My Grandmother Marie and her brother, Joey Giancarli left this earth along with Summer. All of them were integral in previous iterations of the festival. Grandma and Joey were known respectively as the Matriarch and the Godfather. “Madhatter, The Summer Games” were held at La Finca just 10 years ago. Summer was the ultimate winner of that grueling few days of competition.
Madhatter 2024 was destined to happen sooner than later after these blows to the family. Within days of Marie and Summer’s ceremonies… Plans were being made for this year.
In the Giancarli Lakehouse, looking over kids everywhere and family out on the deck and dock… It was obvious to me that I was witnessing the magic that is our family, as 26 (someone else said that number) family members come together in Northern Michigan to be with “family”. It looks effortless. Everyone can do this? Right? From the conversations I have had with many over the years… Our family is the anomaly. It is hard work making this look so easy (stolen line) and as I get older it’s easier to see how special this is.
When we were in Italy last year, Mariano told me that our American family is more “Italian” than our Italian cousins. I was blown away by the statement when he said it… But I understood what he meant and was able to appreciate the compliment.
I had thought of sharing this sentiment in a toast at some point… But, like Burning Man (I have never been, so I make assumptions) the chaos never reigned in for one magical moment where everyone was in a shared space, ready to listen thoughtfully. (And that is fine.)
What I wrote above was what I wanted to say if we had a moment of calm. I got a little bit of this message out of my mouth talking to Joe and Sylvia one evening… But at that time… family sprawled in all directions. There was no need to toast the obvious fun and love that filled the cabin that night.
BTW… For those keeping track… I gained 5 pounds in 5 days at Madhatter. That was rather terrible but not unexpected. Back to work.
Reunions are the “glue” that holds families together. Too often nowadays the younger generation considers them boring, a waste of their time. They would rather be isolated with their electronics than spend a day face to face with family adding to the stories and the richness of their lives. My last family reunion had 150 members present. When the patriarch of our family passed, the next family gathering consisted of 25….the year after that, 10. And thus they are no more. I miss those big gatherings. The food, the games, the stories and camaraderie. But when people decide NOT to participate, the point is mote.
ENJOY your times together and treasure the memories
I truly envy the family time and live that you all experience. When I was young my family all gathered at the Pekin Park on July 4th. We spent the day with each other swimming paddling walking talking and just being together. Then my Grandmother died in a car accident and the family became smaller. We all married and left this area and have had no further family get togethers. Now it’s a wonderful occurrence if three of us can find our way together. You are blessed.
Fabulous post, my friend! Keep building these traditions!
Your family is amazing. For those of us looking in from the outside the positivity that sustains you is contagious. You make us strive to be better humans and to build family where we can…