This post sat in Draft Status… It was last updated in September of 2024. I am not sure why I did not complete it, but it was likely that I didn’t want to come off as a jack wagon after Linda put in hard work on the blood drive at the Delavan Baptist Church in Summers honor. It needs to be published, if for no other reason to tell you that frustration and hate that comes with the honor of a dedication. It all sucks… Even when good comes from it. I liked my life before these kinds of events. But, I will take one drop of lemonade each time we have something like this as some kind of consolation.
The Delavan Baptist Church and the American Red Cross ran a second blood drive in Summer’s name last month. I did what I could to get the word out, but we did not get the same amount of folks to attend on the first try. Passions were higher 6 months ago… But I think the timing with School starting probably was as hard on the attendance as anything. Linda Lou was working the desk and she did a great job of checking in all the locals, along with remembering my friends and family who made the trip down.
I showed up later in the day. I think it started before lunch, but I didn’t get there till 5. Thanks to my staff for letting me cut out of work one more day early in the name of personal business, charity, or Summer.
I was happy to see the little 8 1/2 by 11 information slicks on the corkboard wall at the entrance. One had the picture of Summer that I used in her obituary. The picture of her walking towards the camera with the horses in the background. Angela hates that picture BTW. I know its not the Summer that we all knew and loved, but at the time of her obituary… It was the warrior picture that screamed, “I am a badass”. I was pissed, I wanted a picture that borderline on her being pissed as well.
Linda had another photocopied page near the registration desk along with some other photos she had brought in from home. It was nice. It was pleasant… And it started to irritate me.
I had to be cool… Just like everywhere in life since Summer left us, I can just shut down and say “screw this”… Linda was there. My friend Amber gave it at the same time. The Delavan Baptist Church and the Red Cross were doing something for the betterment of the community.
All these things are working as they should and I have to be the good little cog in the machine to keep the overall big picture stuff in perspective.
But I REALLY don’t want to.
I want to go full-blown sci-fi/Akira/Howls Moving Castle and tear all of this down.
I love you Summer, but I totally want to kick that table over because I think this all sucks. It sucks that this might be real. Its not enough.